Butterflies usually fly high
by luischka
Summary: Erin hates her life in McKinley, and she finds a person that could really change it. IANxERIN / 4. CHAPTER UP! leave reviews? :
1. Like every morning

**Disclaimer**: Okay first, I own nothing!

And please tell me what you think, this is my first fanfic and I don't know if its worth writing more ..

PS: I'm German so please ignore my stupid mistakes :)

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**Butterflies usually fly high**

**Chapter One**

Erin rolled over in her bed and hid her head under a white blanket, groaning slightly. The day had not even begun and she already hated it. She could hear the rain dashing against the windows, and finally upheld her head. It was still dark outside, cold and it was winter. Usually the sun started rising at 8 o'clock in the morning and Erin hated to go to school in the dark. Well, she didn't like school in general. She couldn't stand those terrifying mindless idiots that were attending this pathetic excuse of a school, called McKinley high.

Erins buzzer tinkled at 6 a.m. She reached out for it and threw that annoying black thing onto the floor, then stood up and walked over to her dresser. The mirror showed her a tired-looking girl, blurred make-up covering the dark circles under her eyes and untidy, red hair sticking out her head. Erin had to yawn and opened her wardrobe grabbing for a black pair of jeans and a red band shirt. She put on her clothes and converse chucks, shouldering her school bag and headed for the door.

Just when she had entered the kitchen, she heard the most frightening voice ever. »Up already?«

Her father sat at the table, wearing nothing but underwear, reading the newspaper and drinking his beer. Erin had to advert her face in order to avoid puking, she wasn't hungry anymore at this sight and before her father could say a word more, she had locked the bathroom door.

When she looked in the mirror this time, a lonely tear was running down her cheek. She didn't even know why but she used to cry a lot, lately. Maybe because of her father. Maybe because of her mother, her dead beloved mother who had died in a plane crash a few years ago. Since that time, Erin was forced to live with her father in a sticky small flat in Pennsylvania, miles from her real home, Wisconsin, away. Although Erins father hadn't had a job at this period of time he refused on moving to Wisconsin so that his daughter had to move to him, without any of her permission though. She was only seventeen and yet not allowed to live alone.

But she didn't fit. Her life was going down, she became a misfit, in her school, her home, in McKinley. And she didn't like it. She hardly had found friends at her school in Wisconsin but still, she liked this place more than she could ever like Pennsylvania.

Erin combed her hair and put on eyeliner, not bothering that it would be smudgy in a few hours when she started crying again. She was always crying in school, in classes, even in the breaks. Mostly because of anger or schoolmates being total assholes again. But nobody ever noticed and if somebody did, he just stared or laughed, causing Erin to cry harder.

Well, that's reality. Going to school, coming back, not talking to her father and crying sometimes, missing her mother and going to bed late. If just something … better … would happen to her, but happiness was never hers to hold. She wasn't happy anymore and she didn't try to be. Erin wondered if someone of her classmates had ever seen her teeth, because she never smiled. She found herself ugly and in her opinion smiling would even make her uglier, and actually nobody cared if she did.

Running her fingers through her reddish hair she watched over to the clock which showed 6:15 a.m. Erin still had half an hour before going to school but she just wanted to leave this flat, breathing air and feeling free.


	2. Her personal hell Part 1

So after 7025674 hours of trying to upload and just causing my computer to crash, here is the second chapter**.** I hope you like it :)

And I'd love to get some feedback!

(next chapter will be uploaded in 3 or 4 days, I think)

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**Butterflies usually fly high**

**Chapter Two**

_It looks like a jail or something._

This was the first Erin thought when that huge building appeared in front of her. A sign on the left said **Welcome to McKinley High**.

Better_ welcome to Erin Ulmers personal hell._ The girl sighed while looking at the empty schoolyard. Nobody was outside, probably the first lesson had already begun - but Erin didn't really care.

She walked over to the massive door and opened it.

Nobody was in the corridor.

_Oh shit, I have to be really late_, Erin figured and quickened her pace. When she had found the right room, she could hear loud noises from behind the door, which meant that the teacher wasn't there yet. Erin gave a short sign of relief and pushed the door handle down.

»Oh see who is in here today!«

If she just had been more confident, Erin would have given them the finger. But all she could do was going to her seat in the last row beneath the windows, sitting down and hiding her face in her hands.

»Well this is going to be a great day«, she whispered.

She felt something thrown against her back, again and again. Erin tried to ignore the laughter behind her.

»Eh Ulmer, won't you turn around?«

She bit her lip, feeling the blood. Her mouth was like totally shuttered in the public and she couldn't help it.

»Erin Ulmer, I'm talking to you!«

She didn't even dare to turn around.

»Oh come on!«

Erin glanced at the clock, as suddenly a boy appeared in front of her. Sam Miguel has been in her class since fifth grade, and now he was bending down to her table. Erin looked into his deep blue eyes and remembered a time when she was in love with him and he hadn't started teasing her.

»You're crying again«, Sam said in a loud voice so that everybody in class could hear, »why are you crying? Are you a cry-baby? Seriously, you're crying in school everyday, what's the matter?«

»What do you even ca-«

Erins low voice was interrupted by a boy yelling behind her. »Oh Sam just leave her alone, do you want to get wet by her tears?«

Sam turned around while laughing his ass off, finding it totally funny to hurt Erins feelings. She could also hear his friends laughing now, and Erin wiped off a little tear. She just wanted the teacher to come, or the bell to ring, or the kids behind her to stop.

It was like this everyday. And she didn't tell anybody. Well, she didn't even have somebody to tell about. Her father would probably laugh at her and she was too afraid to tell a teacher. Besides she didn't have friends or someone she could trust.

And then finally, the teacher came in. The guys behind her got quiet and Mr. Sullivan started to explain something about the French Revolution Erin didn't care about. She was still too tired to concentrate. She stared out of the window, following small snowflakes with her eyes that were falling down to earth. Erin loved snow. She had loved it since she was young, she loved the memories of her and her mother playing in the snow every winter. It used to snow a lot in Wisconsin...it's all about good memories.

»Miss Ulmer?«

Erin got frightened at the voice of her teacher and nodded slightly.

»I'd be very appreciated if you listen to what I'm saying«, he spoke with an angry voice. »We're going to write some tests about the French Revolution in the next weeks, be sure that you-«

»Y-Yeah«, Erin interrupted stumbling.

»Good.«

She heard Sam chuckling behind her, saying something like _stupid _and _why are all goths dumb-asses? _

Mr. Sullivan continued pointing at the board where he had written something down before but Erin didn't listen again. Neither Sam Miguel nor Mr. Sullivan. Well...it's all about good memories.


	3. Her personal hell Part 2

**Butterflies usually fly high**

**Chapter 3**

When the bell rang and Erin had been tortured for almost two hours, she practically ran down the corridor to reach her locker. She opened it and gazed at five books, a rotten apple that really needed to be thrown into the bin, a few single pencils and booklets. No things that could offer Erins personality, no pictures or collegeblocks or things that belonged to her. Just school property, and well .. that apple. Like, every locker of this school had photos in it which were showing friends and family or animals, but Erins locker hadn't. Just for the simple reason that she had nothing to photograph.

Behind her, a few people started nudging each other and before Erin could go out of the way, she was pushed against an empty wall.

»Sorry Ulmer!«, a boy yelled laughing.

Erin watched on the floor, sobbing, counting the small tiles. She decided to go to the cafeteria when she suddenly bumped into somebody. Erin upheld her head, scared, and looked into a friendly brown pair of eyes, kind of smiling to her.

_Just say nothing_, Erin commanded herself,_ keep quiet_!

She moved on, ashamed, and put her hands into the pockets of her black jacket, trying not to burst into tears. She could feel every pupils eye on her, including the brown eyes of the guy she just bumped into.

Erin sobbed again, and when she finally arrived to the cafeteria, she opened the door and searched for an empty table to sit.

Then she noticed that she had forgotten to wrap up lunch for today, but she wasn't hungry either. Her schedule for school today was long, 5 more hours to go and instead of eating, Erin started to carve words into the table she had chosen, waiting for the next lesson to begin.

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**Very short chapter, I know, but I just had to make a cut here, hope you liked it anyway :)**

**I've been stressed out all week, but the exams are written now and I'll upload a new chapter within few days, promise!**

**And by the way thanks to my readers :)**


	4. Under the Tree

Has been a while since I last updated ... sorry guys, I hope you want to read my story again though :) The fourth chapter is finished since quite a week, but whatever. Here you are :)

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**Butterflies usually fly high**

**Chapter 4**

Erin was late, but she didn't care. Neither did her dad.

_He probably is sitting in front of the TV drinking his fucking beer_, the girl thought while it sat down under a huge oak tree. It was slowly getting darker by every minute, her clock showed like 7 p.m. and Erin pulled out her homework for today. She was thankful for every minute she needn't to spend at home.

She usually kept a pencil in the right pocket of her pants and was now grabbing for it, but got an old-looking picture out.

_Oh damn_. Erin bit her lip. She totally forgot to leave this picture at home. It was showing her mother and Erin, grinning into the camera, having fun while building a snowman. This picture was taken long time ago, like 7 years, but Erin could remember like it was yesterday.

_Oh Erin don't_, she demanded herself, _don't you dare to cry here. Do you want them to laugh at you again? _

She felt tears coming up, way too late for hiding them, and Erin just buried her face in her palms. _Shit._

And like always, she cried, cried and cried, nowbody came to help her or ask why. The park was almost empty and Erin pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and wiped off her tears. The handkerchief was soon smudged with mascara and eyeliner.

_I have to look like a total idiot_, she thought, breathing heavily. And stared in the grass which was slowly moving in the breeze.

»Whats wrong?«

Erin raised her head, her eyes widened. She sniffled weakly, removing her hands from her face. »Uhm«, she spoke, and paused.

»What's wrong?«, the young guy repeated, looking at her worried, with dark brown eyes, weakly smiling.

Erin shook her head and tourned away. »N-nothing.« She shook her head once more.

The guy bend down deeper, looking into Erins eyes. »You can tell me.«

»I don't think so«, she whispered.

The guy stood a few inches over her now and smiled once more.

Then, finally Erin took a deep breath and begun talking, »Well, life isn't really .. great .. at the moment, you know.«

The guy laughed, Erin turned away and looked up to him, sniffling, not sure what to do or to say. Should she just stand up and leave? But he seemed to be pretty nice.

He placed his hand on her arm, stopping her. »I'm not laughing at you.«

»Yeah, nobody does«, Erin said in a sarcastic voice.

The guys smile was disappearing and he raised his eyebrows. »Wait«, he said, »aren't you that girl from today?«

Erin just looked at him.

»I mean aren't you that girl that bumped into me today?«

She surveyed him, blushing, and slowly remembered his eyes.

»Maybe«, she said then.

»Well, the name's Ian«, the boy said. »Ian McKinley.«

»Oh, you sound like the town I hate the most«, Erin said.

»I don't like it either«, Ian nodded and grinned. »What's your name? Isn't it .. eh .. Erica?«

»Erin«, she corrected him.

»Right. Doing homework?«, he asked her.

»Kind of. French Revolution sucks.«

»I've been through this shit, luckily.« Ian laughed again.

Erin grinned. She felt so .. happy. This guy made her feel happy, somehow. Maybe it was just the fact that somebody actually spoke to her. And she had never smiled in front of a guy. It seemed as she wasn't afraid to speak in front of that boy.

And then he noticed the picture in Erins hand.

»What's this?«, he asked frowning.

»Uhm, it's .. nothing.« Erin tried to hide the picture behind her, but failed.

»Oh come on, let me have a look?«, he asked again, trying to look cute.

»Well«, Erin sobbed, »it's me. With my mother.«

After looking on that picture, Ian said, »You seemed pretty happy.«

»Yes I were«, Erin smiled weakly. »I were, until my mom died in a plane crash. This is the only picture of us I could find before I had to move to Pennsylvania.« She sobbed again.

Ian gave her the picture back. »I'm sorry for you.«

»Mh.« Erin looked down.

After a few moments of silence, Ian begun to speak again.

»Well, maybe I can help you with your homework..«

»Oh, uhm, no I .. I don't think thats a good .. idea … well, I have to go home now«, she said, stood up and put her stuff into her school bag. »Maybe … later.« Nervous as she was, she left Ian under that huge oak tree and walked home, asking herself why she had been that stupid.

_Stop being afraid of people, Erin._


End file.
